Thursday, 6-11-26

Morning.  Finally, got my files organized and backed up: copies on my desktop, copies on an external drive, copies on Google Drive.  This is the recommended setup for backup: computer, external, on-line.  Was going to buy a backup program but did a little research using Google Search and Gemini and, eventually, just decided a simple syncing program I used years ago would be best for the way I organized my files and what I wanted to do.  FreeFileSync which is free for private use, but I donated $20.  Seems like a good investment.  We all need to make a living.  Isn't perfect, but good enough.  "Under Siege" then maybe a little sleep before Sam's.  Might not watch it all.  Feeling good having my backup system done.  Still learning the routine of posting from my blog to FB.  So far, enjoying not having to cut and paste.  Posting my photos and videos still learning have setting a routine that works up.  Understanding God gives purpose to everything???  Very settling.  Later.  Great day so far.  Walked up the porch steps and my left knee felt normal, strong.  Been a long, long time since it felt that good.  Went to Sam's.  Summer is here.  Hot outside, but could have been my diabetes a little bit, too.  Learning to take glucose tablets more.  Doubled up on some things, but prices, oh, boy.  Dogs treats costed more than anything else, I believe.  The Mutt.  Better catch some rabbits.  Haha.  Going to finish my movie from last night.  Movies, computer, reading, same old, same old.  Thought a little about giving up on Penelope, but that would be the easy thing, but not the right thing.  Ain't that shadow.  Know she don't remember me, but real love surpasses that.  God's love knows no bounds and God gave me love for Penelope even though the spirit and love between us is gone, I still have it.  And she deserves me not giving up on my love.  She has no say so for the actions/non-actions of others.  Hatred and disregards for decency hang with people for a long time.  Well, getting a little later here.  Just enjoying and growing my understanding of Him.  Take care, be safe.  God bless.  See what other stuff I can come up with, haha.  YES, Chance is OK.  Penelope's bill is getting higher, hehe.

Wednesday, 6-10-26

 Paydate, so can't complain too much.  Whew, do have to get my sleeping pattern straightened out, but it will be difficult during the summer.  My first Blogger post in a long time.  Seeing how it will work with FB.  Pest control people came today.  They spray the outside of the house.  Keep out the roaches pretty much too.  Still get mice now and then.  Just will have to keep traps and glue sticks here and there.  Not sure where they are coming from.  Got my health screening done yesterday.  Not too bad.  Everything went well.  Down to SLU's auditorium, then back home.  Numbers weren't the best but weren't the worst either.  Will save a little ($120) on what I pay for insurance.  Doctor's visit next month with blood works and all.  My HDLs were lower than normal, but they are always low.  One of the people there told me that could be hereditary.  Oh, boy, how do you improve the numbers then.  And I haven't been exercising much either, so that can be another reason.  My LDLs were low.  My overall cholesterol was good.  So who knows???  I feel good, so not going to worry about it too much.  The stress, worries, and anxiety isn't worth a few months of living longer.  And that isn't always a guarantee anyway.  Going to go by how I feel.  Thought about sticking my finger and stuff again, but again, what is a few extra months.  Mainly, think I am in good enough shape to out last Chance, so that is good enough.  Don't think I have any issues with my heart.  Fingers-crossed.  Did create a Google Photos Album for some current FB images.  Think I have my files organized enough to start working on using my backup program to keep my files in sync.  One backup on the cloud, one backup on a portable drive, and then, my original files on my desktop.  Working on it.  No guarantee I will finish it.  After trying some new chairs, I have four to choose from, I went back to my original one which is bigger.  Seems fine now, but sure I will start feeling change in the future.  Haha.  Just me.  Hope Penelope is having a great summer.  Do have to start working on my will.  Know she doesn't remember me and Chance much, if at all, but everyone should have things from their past to look at in the future.  Have a ton of things here for her.  But, time can change that as well.  Just have to wait to see.  It is easy to give up on someone, especially when they are not of blood, but Penelope is family and she always will be.  I owe her so much.  Can't hold her responsible for the actions, non-actions of those around her.  I have my photos and memories.  Heck, Google Photos has a bunch of photos tonight which I don't remember ever seeing.  Tomorrow, hopefully, Sam's.  Don't need much.  Going to try to reduce the stock of food I have here.  Hopefully, soon, to start trying to get into better shape.  So much to do around the house, inside and out, but nothing that can't wait.  Do need to set up an eye doctor appointment, get someone to come in and check the A/C for maintenance, get someone to come in and look at the short in Penelope's bedroom and bath.  Need to do so much outside???  UGH.  Well, do have a great Thursday.  Will see how this posts on FB and if people will take the time to read the post.  If nothing else, writing does create a calm in me.  Take care, be safe, God bless.

 click image

The Golden Phoenix..

        The Golden Phoenix

The mountain sides of the world
Rushed down from all directions,
The landslide seemed unstoppable,
Then rains, rains and rains came,
All hopes for young girl vanished.

Waters raised to the roof of the sky,
Her arms, legs swirled for survival,
Breath from her lungs shot forth as
The forceful water passed her lips,
All hopes for a young girl vanished.

Dazed unconsciousness lit her eyes,
Mind thoughts lessened, lessened,
Past or they dreams came to her,
Death’s knocks to enter she heard,
All hopes for a young girl vanished.

The Eyes of God opened! With love,
Caring, faith those surrounding her,
Waters to burning ashes, redemption,
Ashes burned away all doubts, fears
From the being child’s troubled soul,

Out God’s Heart burst Winded Beauty,
The Woman Warrior, strength, wisdom,
Fearless Lady, now A Golden Phoenix,
A treasure of God to roam the heavens
Of Earth and beyond into the Spirits.

– Steven Louis Ernest

Horseshoes: So Close...

                        Horseshoes: So Close

His eyes followed the iron colored shape through the air,
Big clang hitting a red stake surrounded by white sand,
Ruler, ruler, please, God only knows how many misses.

Ringer, be damned, I can’t buy one today, he swirled to
A frustration coming, from night to day with a sight of a
Woman and child playing in the field nearby such a joy.

So close he thought as his arm swung back then forward
With the force of tossing two pounds forty feet and little
More for a ringer he sought, another big clang, so close.

“So close,” heard behind his ear, a smile shot to his face.
“Yes, so close,” he returned to the woman with child, oh,
“How, so close,” sounded they both together as hugging.

“So close,” sounded in his ear, a voice he knew from one
He talked to for years, then His smile and joy he felt as
Did she, “Him, again,” she thought with glee, jest, love.

Falling to the ground, the basket flung open with hunger,
The smells hunger more, fried chicken then oily lips met,
Lips never tasted so good, “So close,” said laying backs.

Looking to the skies, clouds and birds above, “So close!”
“Do you remember,” one said, no words spoken, silence,
Hands touching by sides, “Honey, how was your game?”

The thought he heard, “Hit a bunch of clangers that just
Missed, so close,” essence of a smile crossed her mind,
“Yes, I know, reminder how close you came to losing me.”

The slang he said with his soul, “Yes, I can be,” laughter
They both, for both knew the truth, facade played well,
“Do you remember,” both heard with nodding of heads.

“Me, too,” He said, “all My planning, all the years, all the
Trials and days of judgment we went through, his spirit
Never gave up, his freewill, love, never gave up on you."

The day people forgotten, though eyes did stare at us,
We stared not back, too busy being with each other in
The spirit of the Lord, His faith in us never He gave up.

She forgot the people, for now her own mind be true,
True to her heart, true to expand beyond closed minds,
“You old fart,” she chuckled, turning along side of him.

Turning facing her came a kiss, “Wine, better with age.”
“Well, you did make me age before my time,” said she,
“And I love you for it for with it came happiness to us.”

Through the air came the meaning of it all, dropping on
Hips and a beaming smile, “The raptor has you all,” she
Said, “Mommy, I’m hungry,” off two went to food court.

His meaning of life he watched walking the field, hips
And all he loved each inch, “Thank you,” blowing a kiss,
“You saved me, gave me faith in you and him, thanks!”

She looked back and wiggling of hips said, “Welcome.”
Horseshoes one top of one, double ringers scoring a six,
So close is better when it ain’t so close but much more.

– Steven Louis Ernest

Oaks: The Storm...

                     Oaks: The Storm

The grand ole oak guarded the road to the land,
Oh, what beauty of land but it cried for a family,
No one heard, for no one listens to land and God.

The live oak remembered memories of a hundred
Years and more, no homes, no families except of
The roaming cows and goats, calm pasture land.

It saw the rising of white oaks here and there
Near the land of the lane, from acorns to towering
Giants of the strongest wood, land their strength.

Land their weakness with each inch of growth to
To the sky, roots wide in ground soft dirt, worms,
Yet the giants pounded their chests to the storm.

Wise old live oak wept at their pride for he knew
The power of the winds, of God’s might, prayed
Did he for the home and those within, his friends.

The man who saw his veins of spirit of the Lord,
The little girl who listened to the man, especially
For grandma and grandpa, two concrete guards.

Other people of the world in the home, having
None of bad wishes, none of his thoughts at all
Except humanity and kindness all of living life.

The clouds grew darker and the winds barked
Louder and louder with their hot breath, with
The ferocity of the challenge of who stronger.

The pride of knocking over all in their path, of
The evil fun of destroying and crashing things,
The winds really had no care just having fun.

The eye of the storm saw the oaks from a short
Distance and wished them well, the arrogant of
The winds so vile, then he saw man and child.

Both shaking with fear, both wishing they were
Together, but life separated them, the future too
Will, eyes of storms can see, magic crystal balls.

Tears the storm eye cried for the two God’s one.
He saw the future, he wept more, so close came
The meaning of life to the man, she will be gone.

Back to the oaks and wildness of the winds, the
Chests of the oaks bellowed not anymore, down
A few told the others cower and beg for mercy.

As were the man and child, but to God no winds,
Prayers pretty good for no one hurt, damage as
One would expect but not, little this, little that.

The worst to come weeks after the storm with
Tears for the oaks still flowing, another story for
Another day, here old oak cried for his friends.

The man alone again with the lost of a friend,
Child had the blood of ancestors now less with
The lost, world turns ‘round day after day but.

But, new paths to come, the bearded oak limbs
Broken and torn needing renewal and hope of
A real family, the man cannot be, child in need.

Her growth and the growth of the man cannot
Be one together, eye of the storm saw parting,
Crystal balls sometimes lie, the future will tell.

Memories of once before, against a door’s wire
Screen, she cried and cried for him, after work,
Home he, today, return won’t never be, a gift.

A gift to the child for her need of family, a gift
To the Spanish moss, the clothes of the oak,
A gift to others, they may be the land’s family.

– Steven Louis Ernest

Comes The Day: The Child Grows...

    Comes The Day: The Child Grows

Watching her child and lover play, carefree

Knowing family exists, from the bench a

Memory comes to she, the head of family.

His smile and funny face made her laugh,

His tickling of sides and underarms such

Force yet so gentle, “Father, I love you.”

Tears held back, headstone hides his face,

“Lord, why? How could you let this be, no.”

Acid tears burn away her faith, if she knew.

The Lord lost His smile that day, His Angel,

The Special One of His love turned away,

If only she knew, He helpless to the Fates.

But the future He can weave though only

For His eyes to see and know why, only

With the eyes of another will she His love.

With fun and joys of a child the truth of

Life catches the innocent, she crinkled her

Eyes as flowing through the days forgotten.

The greatest pains yet to come, not today,

In the path of the past, he stood, firm and

Tall with the strength, her strength, it held.

Not today nor never the glow of his face did

It shout, no fear only love she felt from him,

She ruled him she knew, this moment not.

He saved her, she saved him, past is dead,

Her lover raised the child her eyes saw in

The park, there he stood in front of her.

Comes the day, the child grows into the

Woman she was meant to be, true love

Being the water making her what God saw.

The meaning of life she to him, with her

Love, God forged Him a man, an eternal

Lover for her, to stand by her side forever.

With returned Faith in her heart, she ran

And caught the child in mid-air, memories

Of old to be laughter, a folly of tomorrow.

Arms around her waist so at ease she felt,

Only the future she saw of living as family,

Her lips on his, eyes up His clouds smiled,

His Special Angel child now child no more.

– Steven Louis Ernest

God's Walk...

                       God’s Walk

Awakening to the light of millions of stars,

God decided upon a walk in the beautiful

Shade oak trees in New Orleans’ City Park.

Old Spanish moss draping the ancient limbs

Reaching so far some heavy touching cold

Ground this late Autumn day of color leaves.

The runners in the distance old and young,

God tempted to reach for His glasses today

But not, in corner of His eyes He saw what?

Bifocals He pulled His back blue jean pocket,

This sight cannot be for I know this one soul,

He one of many sons I heard from yesterday.

He hesitated but sec, “Why today, a day off?”

Searching his essence of all, “Oh, no, my son!

Helpless am I in your pains, love’s tall wall.”

Playful and happy squirrels smile at God only

To sulk away heads down low, “Poor God, oh,”

White robe and wings grayed in His sorrow.

A mind expanding the universal lost in the

Wilderness hungry and cold, God looked back

To him and pulled away quickly, “My walk?”

Even God gave up as the darkened clouds felt

His mood, bifocals hanging low near falling a

Fall of glass breaking, but there a dull shadow. 

Near the black waters of the sunless lagoon,

She stooped arm stretched out dropping It,

Roses of white, pink, and red into the waves.

“Take my ‘love’ away for they say, ‘can’t be,’”

God felt the roses’ love drip below the waves,

Beaming a smile He rose his hands to light.

Never has such heavenly light shine upon the

Earth before for it had the love and spirit of

God from all times, His faith restored by her.

She of such strength to forsake love for him,

Her love longed for him, her need so strong,

But for him, ‘no’ had to be her answer, him.

Such sacrifice swollen God’s heart with joy

For His creation, one so special to Him stood

Tall and proud and with faith, put him first.

From His hands, God’s Will became the winds,

All within their reaches bowed to His wishes,

The winds of spirit made all so bright and well.

The roses of ‘love’ rose from the water back to

Her heart, for though God cannot change one’s

Love, without love, His gift to her ‘love’ again.

Love again with the strength of the Lord and

Faith that he would survive all with her by his

Side, she knew he needed her to live his life.

He needed her for him to be happy, for them

To find happiness in each other’s arms, where

Is he, she looked about, God pointed the way.

The wall of love that stopped God crumbled

To her love of him, he saw her living smile

Once more, with her touch shook the glass.

Into a Wonderland they went forever more,

Hand-in-hand, happiness with each together,

Faith God lived in their hearts surely He did.

-- Steven Louis Ernest

The Speech...

                       The Speech

The flaky white snow drifted onto his head

Inside the darkened cave he hid all life thru,

The coldness of the flakes of his mind can I.

How do I sleep tonight he tossed on the cold

Ground shaking in fear, knowing her answer,

He begged the pillow, “Please, love me, too.”

Through the hours of the night, through his

Tormented mind, words and words, over and

Over, I will say this, I will say that, I will say.

Will tomorrow be new or the same old of no,

No I can’t say the words I need to say, Wait!

Wait, maybe the day after, words to be right.

The fingers of God reached to him from the

Window shades to his eyes, “You can do this

My boy,” his heart said no she will say no, no.

God wiped the sweat from His head, whisper

To his mind memories of her face, her shapely

Form, her movements, her smile and lips, oh!

Courage arose him from his bed hurriedly to

Readiness with lance, shield and sword, plume

Flying from his helmet ready to charge ahead.

“I need you so much for without you there is

No me, around you are my smiles, my feeling

So good, my happiness, your smiles my goal.

“I want you for dreams I need fulfilled, for the

Aches and empty spots in my heart, warmth

To light my soul with fires of God you bring.

“I love you for the meaning of life you carry to

Me, the faith you arise in me to cross burning

Sands to find to God and his gift to me, you.

“You, the One and only One for me, the key

To my happiness, my purpose of my existence.”

The Speech written in stone, in mind, steadfast.

Courage so brave as flying away to unknowns

When hearing her heart wrenching voice and

Seeing her beauty so unapproachable so near.

“Good morning,” she says, “I loved The Speech,”

A dream, still asleep must be he, but the voice

So real, “How, shouts he,” smile, “I love you, too.”

– Steven Louis Ernest

Elbows on the Table...

          Elbows on the Table

The steam rose into the passages

As passing trays of Chinese delight,

A dash here, a dash there his plate.

Rosy lines of poetry, rhyme to hell,

Give me the spicy stuff with tang,

Pile the plates so high, can be done.

Table full of eats of all kinds so nice

As his eyes looked down saw none,

Anger of such blindness of hatred.

Raising his arms V of vindictiveness

Eyes pointed to the heavens beyond

All spouting curses God’s ears heard.

God looked not away though so hurt,

The son He loved and always will, He

Understood the pains of such unknown.

But He was only God, here so helpless,

His son drowning in His sights He cried.

Why, God knew not, Love fools God too.

Pounding, pounding elbows on the table,

He screamed out, “To hell with you all,”

And they all knew his pains God said.

For they nailed His son’s hands and feet

After jeering sounds towards a man with

A cross he beared across stone streets.

These were the ones his love so adored,

The ones of the fears she had to obey,

Go away they say you are not the one.

With their voices she said go away, away,

She cried not she needed no man though,

She lied to God and self all for they man.

Elbows on the table, he looked down to

The hells below and prayed, “God, forgive

Them, for they know not what they do.

-- Steven Louis Ernest

"Worn Out": An Ode to van Gogh

“Worn Out”: An Ode to van Gogh

Stroking charcoal struck the canvas with lightning,

His smile widening with each swirl of his wild arm,

The laughter within bursting at the seams to fools.

Fools to think he thought so simply plain all to see,

Worn Out the old man, oh, what a simple thought

To use as bait to the fishes of the sane world not.

With each glee his pains and torments eased for a

Moment of peace and happiness, in that, revenge

To those demon humans with penetrating pin eyes.

Pin, needles through his skull to screaming brain,

Why could they not see and feel beyond the paint,

Beyond the pastels of the black and grey to deep.

To deep beyond the touch of powered chalk and 

Oils of colors into the land of spirit and soul of God,

The Man’s fingers touching his mind asking for more.

Worn Out his joke on man for the old man is more than

What the eyes see for is the old man tired of weakness

Maybe, but could be an old man’s thoughts of fallen love.

Dreaming of past days in arms of his lady, his woman,

His reason for living, in his knuckled hands holding her

So tight, his reason for living having those old dreams.

Tunes, songs through his mind knowing his greatness,

Knowing none will see until his death has come, hands

with force slashing black and grey envy of the old man.

“van Gogh!” he shouted to himself, “Why!” to the ladies

Of his love, why no love for one named “van Gogh,” why,

As his heart shrunk in resentment of Worn Out old man.

– Steven Louis Ernest

https://www.poemhunter.com/i/ebooks/pdf/elizabeth_barrett_browning_2012_7.pdf

https://www.vangoghmuseum.nl/en

https://mymodernmet.com/van-gogh-worn-out-sketch/

A Rose Never Dies...

         A Rose Never Dies

The flowers of life many can be,
How with words can one say the
Essence of the life of a rose.

White fields of petals her hair,
Face of the rose a smile glowed,
Memories of its beauty so clear.

The glow so heavenly and beaming
Warmth and joy to all with caring
So true from the heart and soul.

Oh, the thorns were there as for
All roses finger pricks one risked
When touching and loving the rose.

The petals and stem do wilt in time,
But the love and beauty always there
In the fond memories of times gone by.

A rose never dies when embodied by
One's soul and heart ascending to Him
And those of lost loves heaven before.

Janet is a rose that will never die,
For seeds she emplanted to life's earth
To go on with memories of her to endear.

-- Steven Louis Ernest